Why do people feel the need to lie?

Published on July 22, 2004 By Janders In Misc

I have been thinking about this a lot lately and after reading some of Dharma's articles where she referenced peole woh "B.S." I had to give my 2 cents.

Why do people feel the need to lie, to tell half truths and make up stories? Do they realize that no good comes of it? How do you benefit?

I think that lying is the ultimate for of disrespect. Not only to the person(s) you are lying to, but to your self. Why can't you be yourself? Why do you have to lie?

Is it a self defense? Like a small child caliming they didn't color on the wall, while the crayons are still in their hands?

Is it immaturity? That you can't handle the realities of life?

Is it denial? DO you say so many lies that they become reality to you. Is "real life" to hard so you must make up your own existence?

I hate lying. If someone asks my opinion, such as "how does this look" I won't lie. I will say I don't care for it. So even little whit lies that may not hurt anybody seem unnecesscary. Why get into that habit?

Do you tolerate liers?

How do you feel when someone lies to you? I feel betrayed, and can not trust them at ALL.

Do you lie? Even little white lies? Why?

I just don't get why people feel the need to lie.

Comments (Page 1)

Kayles

on Jul 22, 2004

I don't get it either. Is it immaturity in the case you are refering to? Probably so.

CS Guy

on Jul 22, 2004

I agree wholeheartedly. I hate lies. Hate them, hate them, hate them. I hate when people lie to me to "spare" my feelings, or to hide "bad" news. To hell with that! How am I going to grow past the bad news or the bad feelings if you withhold the knowledge I need? The sooner I get the bad news then the sooner I can get on with my life.

That's not even getting into the more diabolical lies that are not for my "beneift" but rather for the liar's benefit. And sometimes those are some sick motives.

Floozie

on Jul 22, 2004

I believe that a certain degree of lying is necessary for social lubricant. There are some times that I would prefer not to know that someone has certain information or they think a certain way. Sometimes people don't ask questions to hear the truth. And while this may be a horribly immature head-in-the-sand approach I accept that others will do it as I do.

I do not tolerate, however, flagrant lies. Lies about entire situations which have not occurred or lies about your past which you use to make you seem better. Making something up from scratch is wrong and hurtful. I can only condemn those who do this.

But if I ask you if my butt looks big in these trousers, please do me the courtesy of saying yes.

Amitty

on Jul 22, 2004

TOTALLY! awesome that there are still decent people in the world.

dharmagrl

on Jul 22, 2004

I think that sometimes people do it because they're immature. Sometimes they want the attention....sometimes they have a need to make themselves seem better or bigger than they are.

Floozie is right, sometimes we lie to ease a difficult circumstance, and sometimes I would have to say that it;s almost necessary to lie.

Making up a horrible scenario and trying to pass it off as the truth is just awful, though. It makes me wonder about the mental stability of the person doing the lying.

CS Guy

on Jul 22, 2004

But if I ask you if my butt looks big in these trousers, please do me the courtesy of saying yes.

I think a lot of people would have a different request there, and that is exactly why I consider the "Golden Rule" to be BS. I have found that most people do not want me to treat them as I would have them treat me. A much better rule is "Do unto others as they would have you do unto them." Of course, that's a bit more difficult since you have to figure out what they want. And it really only applies to a certain degree. If the guy down the street wants me to lather him up in baby oil, chances are thats not a "unto others" that I'm gonna go for.

CS Guy

on Jul 22, 2004

sometimes they have a need to make themselves seem better or bigger than they are

I'm not sure I can get any better

And I sure don't want to get any bigger!

CS Guy

on Jul 22, 2004

Floozie is right, sometimes we lie to ease a difficult circumstance, and sometimes I would have to say that it;s almost necessary to lie.

That is one of my biggest problems in inter-personal relationships. Because I never want to be lied to, I have a hard time figuring out when others do want to be lied to. It sometimes makes me seem cold and callous. I have been told that people fear me. I don't want to hurt people, or scare them, or intimidate them (unless I do want to do those things, which is a rare occurance), but my honesty and respect is often taken the wrong way.

Missi7683

on Jul 22, 2004

my honesty and respect is often taken the wrong way.

I have the same problem CS. Sometimes people think I am too blunt or hard hearted. I expect people to tell me the truth when I ask a question and I expect that they would want the same courtesy from me.

dharmagrl

on Jul 22, 2004

I don't want to hurt people, or scare them, or intimidate them (unless I do want to do those things, which is a rare occurance), but my honesty and respect is often taken the wrong way.

That's why we tell 'little white lies'. Things that are partial truth, but softened a little.

I learned from Interviews and Interrogations class that you have to temper the truth with tact. There is a right place and time to be bluntly truthful, just as there is a right place and time to be tactfully truthful..or just to say nothing at all. Honesty, whilst it's mostly the best policy, is difficult to take sometimes.

I can see you don't have many self-esteem problems, CS !

Will I tolerate liars? Yes, in the way that I tolerate other people I don't care for much. I deal with them minimally, and I also don't believe a word they say as being true until it's proven to be the truth.

CS Guy

on Jul 22, 2004

But anyway, back to the subject....if I think I'm being lied to, rather than immediately correct the liar, I like to let them spin themselves a web of deception and get snared up in it. That way they end up making themselves look like an idiot rather than me having to do it for them.

Will I tolerate liars? Yes, in the way that I tolerate other people I don't care for much. I deal with them minimally, and I also don't believe a word they say as being true until it's proven to be the truth.

That's pretty much how I deal with them. It's also how I tend to deal with deluded and stupid people. If they want to live in ingorance I usually don't have a problem with that. If they want to live a lie, I will let them. However, if their delusion, lies, idiocy start affecting me then I have to stomp on them.

Floozie

on Jul 22, 2004

But if I ask you if my butt looks big in these trousers, please do me the courtesy of saying yes.

What was I trying to say??? I'm an idiot. Talk about posting and not paying any attention. So I meant NO. NO!

I am actually blushing at the idiocy of my statement.

Kayles

on Jul 22, 2004

And look what you started Floozie! BTW, your butt looks great in those pants!

Floozie

on Jul 22, 2004

Thanks Kayles! You're looking pretty spiffy yourself

Man! That simple word made my whole argument look pretty screwy. Gotta be careful what you say, don't you?

CS Guy

on Jul 22, 2004

What was I trying to say??? I'm an idiot. Talk about posting and not paying any attention. So I meant NO. NO!

Heh, I originally made my reply based on you saying NO, and when I read it after submitting I realized I had misread what you wrote. So I changed my response.

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