Janders...

You dont want to get into this argument with me... I have the philosophy that chicks are their own worst enemies!!! I am sure you understand...

84^^!!!

Janders,
I worked with a woman on a school parent project. When I asked about her children, she included the one who had been killed. It did not make me feel uncomfortable, it just make me feel sad for her and helped me realize how death may take the child away from your presence, but not your heart. When I was writing a story on a woman who lost her child, I looked it up on the internet. Several people had websites dedicated to their dead child. My brother lost his first child and went on to have two more. He is very open about his baby. Some will feel uncomfortable, but that is their problem. You need to say that you had a baby, so tell the truth. After it becomes a habit, you won't worry anymore what people think.

Having lost two of my babies I know that God had something diffrent in mind for me. When I look at my three children I was able to keep I have no doubt that these three are the exact children I was meant to have and raise. No more, No less. I always wanted five children but I am sure that I could only handle going through the teen years three times

You know my above comment was just one of concern, not meant to wound. I burst with pride when I see the person you have become. Knowing more about you, I know first hand the diffuculties you have encountered and overcome. The few of us that are lucky enough to call you family enjoy being with you. In fact we would like to see more of you!

In my heart Jayden will always be my first Grand-baby. And you have joined the sisterhood of grieving mothers. I know someday you will also be spending your days chasing little ones around. I hope that God decides you can handle a ton of kids and that we end up with a big family of children of all cultures calling me Grandma.

I love you Jo.

Oh, I am in tears reading this. My heart aches for you so. I have two beautiful boys that I am thankful for every single moment. I can't imagine your pain. I have experienced the pain of miscarriage twice so I do have some idea of what you are going through. The first miscarriage happened at just past 3 months. Everyone we knew knew we were expecting. Of course the news of miscarriage doesn't carry as quickly and we were soon faced with questions from those who hadn't been in touch for a while.

It seemed so hard to tell people over and over again what had happened that when we got pregnant again, we thought it would be easier to just not tell people until we were reasonably certain everything would turn out fine. Well it didn't. I miscarried again at about 2 months. Noone, other than immediate family new I had been pregnant. This left me feeling so alone with my grief. I didn't tell people about the second miscarriage until after we were successful in having our second child.

You sound like a very strong person. Any child would be very fortunate to have you as their mother. I think telling people about your daughter is the best thing for all concerned. She is a part of who you are and people should learn that from you. You might find that people open up to you about things they wouldn't otherwise. For example, I have a dear friend going through the hell of fertility treatments right now. She seemed a lot more comfortable talking to me about what she is going through once I shared with her my experiences with miscarriage.

I ache for your loss and I wish you and your family the best for your future. Thank you for sharing your story.

Mom (gamma)- I know you did not mean it in a negative way. I know how much you and dad love Jayden, and how it is equally hard for you to be a support for me when I am grieving, and still grieve in your own way. I love you both so much, and couldn't ask for more supportive parents!

JillUser- Thank you for your kind words, I will be sure to keep your qoute, "Any child would be very fortunate to have you as their mother." and save it for the teen years, when everybody elses parents are "cooler" than me. : )

Sherye- I will work on being more open. I sometimes feel like I don't talk about her as a protection method. People can not say horrible, ignorant things about her or our loss, if they don't know about it.

It does not feel as if we will ever get over the pain. Sometimes it is easier to shut it out and (attempt) to remain strong. I cannot imagine life without the people I love, and life without Jayden is hard. To short of a time with her, too long of a time without her.

It's still hard.

We love you.

We always will.

We will see you one day.

Your Dad.

Muggaz, you are the sweet guy. You can't escape it.

Trinitie

Mr. Right~ I know its hard but we can do it togther. Jayden will always be our first born. I love you and her!